The Straitjacket Quartet

MAJOR ANNOUNCEMENT IN THE NEXT WEEK OR SO!!!! STAY TUNED! Bear with the gang as they go through some changes and look to the future! While they take solo flight to new levels, catch up with this straight from the vault material which shows how much the boys have grown in the past few years...Aw, look how young they looked....

Enjoy!

Enjoy!

If you thought they could get anymore callous, raunchy, or rude, you were WRONG! Join the triplets of Trouble as they talk about famous dead people, start a dead pool, use sex toys in a way no one sane would think of, and PROVE Charlie Sheen killed them all!

In this episode, we learn what happened to the guys, why Sinatra and the like shouldn't have reproduced, and what the Tailban is looking for in Pakistan!

In our continuing saga...btw, did you like where I made that last cut? Where were we...ahh, yes. The drama continues. Still haven't gotten around to PSN (Is that up yet? I'll have to check on that.) They'll get to that. They've PROMISED! Enjoy!

Yeah, you're probably thinking that this one must be about the recent implosion of the Playstation Network. I'm sorry to say that it is not. But the guys are definitely planning on getting into that one in June...especially since Bryan has a PS3. Poor fool. Anyway, this one is about...hehehe...I guess you'll just have to listen in and find out. Enjoy!

Wait what? Listen in.

Bad things happen. It's just a fact of life. So what could the guys possibly have to say about the recent, not so recent, Earthquake/Tsunami...you'll just have to listen in.

You just have to listen in.

What? What am I talking about? Where am I? What did Pee Wee do? Listen in. Enjoy.

Knockin' on Charley's door is bad...very bad. Seriously, it's very, very, very, very, very BAD! Why?! Listen in and find out.

Charley is on a rampage. And so apparently is Charley. Listen in and enjoy!

Ahh the Pledge of Allegience. What could the guys possibly have to say about the pledge? Listen in and find out. Enjoy!

What would happen in Charley's kingdom? Listen in and find out.

I refuse to describe anything. Listen in! Hah!

How many ways can one shuffle off one's mortal coil? Find out! Listen in! Also, check out the link, and Thank you to John Gaston!

http://www.thebestpageintheuniverse.net/c.cgi?u=manly_suicide

[Image Courtesy of: http://spunkmonkey78.tripod.com/ ]

It's like a Michael Bay movie! Explosions, robbery, gunfire, more explosions, dynamic action, more explosions, words, and yet more explosions. And Sushi! Can't forget the sushi! What happened?! Listen in! Enjoy!

In this the order of the blessed braincells talk about the craziness of the storm that SLAMMED the North East of the US, how stupid people get in the process and what to do to avoid traffic issues during said end of the world storms....

It continues! Enjoy!

So beloved by the guys that they have to visit Real Dolls again, and possibly again, and still, maybe, yet again. In this episode, a two-parter, the guys ruminate on what to do when one tires of one's Real Doll. Not to mention a few (hundred) other things. Enjoy!

You knew this had to get dragged out. Beating a dead horse into blood soup is sort of, thier thing. But we love them for it! Enjoy!

[ Image courtesy of: http://www.thirdraildesignlab.com/rimages/500x_VampireFleshlight1-1.jpg
]

Somebody went and got himself a Fleshlight! Who could be so depraved! Listen in to find out.

[Image courtesy of: http://www.motifake.com/image/demotivational-poster/0908/redneck-fleshlight-demotivational-poster-1251326448.jpg ]

You got it! With Charley almost falling asleep... and Things getting stuck to other things. Christopher Walken becomes a Jedi, and Bryan thinks he will touch the Younglings...Chris is wondering why an Irishman is Liberating Paris in 1942...Bees wax and sandy vaginas!

Yo, Adrian?! Did you find my Panda Pants? What? your washin' 'em...Okay...

Join our minions of the dark as they babble on and on and on about getting their due...And Chris telling them to shut up...

You have all heard it before! Don't put that THERE! Well, that's OUT the window. Join us as we discuss factoids about kissing and the dangers of using the brown gun...

In this epic tale of wasting time, our illustrious heroes embark on a journey of opinion about games new and older...And talk about Tim Curry, the evils of online only aspects of one player games. In other words GEEKFEST!

Join our outer space man...Bryan, along with Chris and Charley as we interview Arnold Schwartzenegger in his first media interview since he officially is leaving office! He go in depth about his visions and plans for the future

Join us as we beam transmissions from Orion's Belt to Philadelphia to get this show going again! Our massively hung heroes are willing to catch up on such topics as MEL GIBSON, MATT DAMON,M.J., and B.P.

I know, we are sooo topical...We missed you all. It is GREAT to be back!

Last audio issue (we hope) enjoy us talking about bad dates...photo link:http://cdn.thefrisky.com/images/uploads/bad_date_HOF_200.jpg

This is a list episode...Forgive the audio issues. Will try to remaster later!
Enjoy this countdown of crap(really, if this guy was any good, we'd be out of a job)!
photo link: http://officialmdub.files.wordpress.com/2009/12/breakin2.jpg

Again with the audio. Tune in to find out what we mean by "heraldry"

Topical cream gets bumped...Here is why

Forgive audio blunders. We will have it fixed and will re-post these in best of remastered, unitl then enjoy our social experiments...Phot link: http://c2.api.ning.com/files/D4ZX8TtAOk7BWwABulQK-WPHt5nzV7L3rfwVYIOsV4Ci4jGuwKXCF26sVwMvleCzjOj1sp*QTB2865N79jyICz-w4mUFTLMS/Tesla_colorado_adjusted.jpg

We have had an engineering issue and the sound of this episode is a little all over the place. Please forgive us. We will try to re-post "remasters" at a later date. Meanwhile, enjoy the strange things we do in bed! Photo link: http://www.collectorsquest.com/blog/wp-content/uploads/conan_frazetta.jpg

Due to audio issues and time restraints we have to release this raw. Hopefully we can send you all cleaned up versions in the next best of episode...In the mean time, enjoy part two of two...Super Queeros.
Photo Source: http://1.bp.blogspot.com/_2NEuKgGJyMU/SeNimDW7vbI/AAAAAAAAH1s/fTfcBRjyatA/s400/superhero.jpg

I'm willing to bet you're wondering what this one's about. So was I, and then I listened in. Very funny stuff.

Strange games are played everywhere, but apparently Japan has a monopoly on strange game shows. Check it out!

Again, sorry this is late. I HATE VIRUSES!! We'll talk more about that later.

Not that this should be something so hotly debated in these enlightened times, but yes, a woman's right to do with her body as she pleases is still a problem. Charley,Bryan and Chris take on this hot button topic and give their own two cents.

Sorry for the delay folks. I got smacked with a nasty virus, and I had the only copies of the shows. So here we are...a bit later...but I hope you enjoy.

Things are getting stranger and stranger. Prenups are one thing. Now young couple who are dating are using Pre-prenups! Listen in and enjoy.

Links: http://www.cnn.com/2010/LIVING/personal/04/16/dividing.stuff.after.breakup/index.html?iref=allsearch

http://www.newser.com/story/81584/the-new-dating-trend-the-pre-prenup.html

Like many others brave members of the media, Chris, Charley and Bryan were deeply offended by the censorship of yet another South Park episode featuring an image on Muhammad. Revolution Muslim threatened violence and curbed one of our most precious freedoms. The freedom of speech. We may not always like what others have to say, but here in this great nation one is allowed to speak ones mind. John Stewart, Matt Stone, Trey Parker; we count you among our heroes!

Links: http://www.forbes.com/2010/04/30/south-park-mohammed-theo-van-gogh-opinions-columnists-melik-kaylan.html

http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/content/article/2010/04/28/AR2010042805369.html

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2010/04/23/jon-stewart-stands-up-for_n_549178.html

Image: http://bloggingexperiment.com/wp-content/uploads/2007/12/southpark-bestfriends.gif

You have to hear this. No description will do this any justice.

Pissed off yet? Smokers have been taxed to extreme...Now the new smoker(fat people) get their voice when Fat Charley and Bryan, and semi-fat Chris bitch about sugar tax...What's next? SEX TAX????

pic link: http://nsma.org.au/fat.htm

Join our illustrious chatterboxes as we blast the Pope...Why not, eveyone else does...Oh Yeah, and look at the picture of him bragging...Just Sayin'...

Picture link here: http://www.yoyenta.com/index.php?s=abe+foxman&submit=Search

We all heard about the trainer who lost her life. Bryan, Chris, and Charley have their own take on the tragedy. Like many of their opinions and ideas, they come from somewhere unknown to science. But let's face it...This is exactly why we love them and keep tuning in! Enjoy the madness!

Toyota's are dropping like raindrops in a monsoon. Coincidence?! Or international conspiracy for revenge?! Charley, Bryan and Chris are divided. Listen in to find out who's blaming who...or what! This one got a bit out of hand.

Chile has been struck by an earthquake of it's own, and the guys are wondering if the USA is going to be required to help out there as well. What happens next? Listen in and find out.

Apparently where it comes to the USA, the world has a double standard. And this bothers more than one member of the troop. Listen in and let the guys know what you think. Really! They love to hear for you. 206-337-1114

They're Back! They're Bad! After a month of technical difficulties throwing a wrench in the whole scheduling/recording process the Straitjacket Quartet returns to our airways to entertain us, yet again with their, slightly skewed, sense of humors and observations about life, and the things that have happened during their undesired absence. HOORAY for the Hooligans' return! Join Chris, Bryan, and Charley as they cover some of the news that in today's headlines, and other distracting things. Have a ball!

Ladies and Gents, Charley here. We have had the "perfect storm" of issues, with two of our computers going down with major viruses, I had to borrow an eight year old tower to do this! I hope the sound is good, it may have had trouble keeping up. We will resume normal NEW episodes on 3/14. WE ARE SORRY FOR THE DELAY and will be back A.S.A.P. We love you and keep an ear out. Meanwhile enjoy theses classics!

Ladies and Gents, Charley here. We have had the "perfect storm" of issues, with two of our computers going down with major viruses, I had to borrow an eight year old tower to do this! I hope the sound is good, it may have had trouble keeping up. We will resume normal NEW episodes on 3/14. WE ARE SORRY FOR THE DELAY and will be back A.S.A.P. We love you and keep an ear out. Meanwhile enjoy theses classics!

Ladies and Gents, Charley here. We have had the "perfect storm" of issues, with two of our computers going down with major viruses, I had to borrow an eight year old tower to do this! I hope the sound is good, it may have had trouble keeping up. We will resume normal NEW episodes on 3/14. WE ARE SORRY FOR THE DELAY and will be back A.S.A.P. We love you and keep an ear out. Meanwhile enjoy theses classics!

Ladies and Gents, Charley here. We have had the "perfect storm" of issues, with two of our computers going down with major viruses, I had to borrow an eight year old tower to do this! I hope the sound is good, it may have had trouble keeping up. We will resume normal NEW episodes on 3/14. WE ARE SORRY FOR THE DELAY and will be back A.S.A.P. We love you and keep an ear out. Meanwhile enjoy theses classics!

Ladies and Gents, Charley here. We have had the "perfect storm" of issues, with two of our computers going down with major viruses, I had to borrow an eight year old tower to do this! I hope the sound is good, it may have had trouble keeping up. We will resume normal NEW episodes on 3/14. WE ARE SORRY FOR THE DELAY and will be back A.S.A.P. We love you and keep an ear out. Meanwhile enjoy theses classics!

Ladies and Gents, Charley here. We have had the "perfect storm" of issues, with two of our computers going down with major viruses, I had to borrow an eight year old tower to do this! I hope the sound is good, it may have had trouble keeping up. We will resume normal NEW episodes on 3/14. WE ARE SORRY FOR THE DELAY and will be back A.S.A.P. We love you and keep an ear out. Meanwhile enjoy theses classics!

Ladies and Gents, Charley here. We have had the "perfect storm" of issues, with two of our computers going down with major viruses, I had to borrow an eight year old tower to do this! I hope the sound is good, it may have had trouble keeping up. We will resume normal NEW episodes on 3/14. WE ARE SORRY FOR THE DELAY and will be back A.S.A.P. We love you and keep an ear out. Meanwhile enjoy theses classics!

Ladies and Gents, Charley here. We have had the "perfect storm" of issues, with two of our computers going down with major viruses, I had to borrow an eight year old tower to do this! I hope the sound is good, it may have had trouble keeping up. We will resume normal NEW episodes on 3/14. WE ARE SORRY FOR THE DELAY and will be back A.S.A.P. We love you and keep an ear out. Meanwhile enjoy theses classics!

Some people want to go on vacation to relax. Then you have the people who just can't stand that silliness. For them, The guys have found Satan's Travel Guide. Join Bryan, Chris and Charley as the cover the top ten worst places one really must visit, but may not survive the experience...or may not want to survive the experience. Think you know any of these "Hot" spots? Check it out.

PS: LISTS! LISTS! LISTS! These guys can't get away from Lists! This is hilarious! They spend the beginning of the year bitching about lists, here they are, on yet another one. LOL!

The laughs continue as Charley, Chris, and Bryan continue to muddle through the seedy world of Mail Order Brides...on the World Wide Web. Imaging, all of this just because some guy wed his video game, and these guys found out about it. What's next? Those of us who are not on the inside can only sit back and wonder. I've heard that those on the inside often wonder as well. Enjoy!

In the first of their in depth look at the many uses of the information superhighway (i.e. the internet or porn-net...whichever works for you), the guys delve deeply into the wonderful world of ordering online. Ahh...Mail Order Brides! Chris has a ringside seat as Bryan, and Charley fight like a couple of fat, lazy, sickly, wild, mangy, mutts over a piece of meat (almost literally, I'm afraid)

What, on earth, is the world coming to? Is it global warming, or global cooling?! I really want to know! No one seems to really know. Somebody had better tell me...and soon. SAL9000 has married his true love...a video game vixen. No! Yes! Seriously, this is not made up. Chris, Charley and Bryan have some things to say about it, and other things. Check it out! Oh, and the guys don't talk about geothermal variations in this episode. Perhaps if we call in we can get them to talk about it. Call 206-337-1114.

In Part 2 of their continuing saga of the "100 Greatest Heavy Metal Guitarists", Chris, Bryan and Charley finally get to the, "GOOD", list. Bryan counts down Joel McIvers top ten. The witty banter continues further with Chris also naming some of the gods which graced McIvers list. Fun was had by all. Enjoy!

Guitar World and Joel McIvers are in total disagreement where it concerns the "100 Greatest Metal Guitarists of all Time". Bryan, Charley, and Chris are just really mad at Guitar World for their faux pas! In PART 1 the guys cover Guitar Worlds version of the list. Speaking of lists...these guys can't seem to get away from them...can they? Enjoy!

Lists! Lists! Lists! They're everywhere! Especially at the end of the year. Charley, Chris, and Bryan are no exception to the rule. They delve deeply into the world of lists. Join the fun!

SUVs falling from the sky! Kirby estate attempts to take back Superheroes! And Bryan, Charley, and Chris go out, for once, and all hell breaks loose because they were hanging out with Haxle Rose. Ahh the wonderful things that can happen when these guys go out and cut loose.

Ever wanted to know the DO(s) and DON'T(s) of terminating a relationship? This may well be the best place in the entire world, to find the answers (either that or I have gone completely off my rocker). We all have a sad story to tell about the expiration of a favored relationship, or two. Bryan, Charley and Chris share their pain, as well as their evil plans for the next time the fire goes out and the relationship must end. Me thinks they've been burned one to many times ladies. Enjoy...or take cover!

Is touching ok? What does touching mean? What are safe places to touch? What places can lead to instant ferocious fornication? The only way to find out the answers to these and other crucial questions, is to press play and lend an ear as Chris , Charley and Bryan revisit this fondling topic. Enjoy

In a rare move for our heroes, Charley, Chris, and Bryan revisit a topic they've already covered. Or so we thought. Apparently Jesus is not only everywhere...he's also on your TV. And Chris is tortured with his holy presence every day. Please feel free to ignore the constant references to the day being 12/29. Someone, who refuses to take the blame for the mix up, got their dates crossed. Just exercise a little suspension of disbelief, or ignore it totally, OR call them at 206-337-1114 and say, "NIce Job BOZOS!" By the way, Happy Birthday for yesterday Chris! Enjoy!

Mad Deer, Star Wars, Conan the Barbarian, and Football all have something in common and right now only Chris, Bryan and Charley know how...or even why. I know you're dying to know and so do the guys. Join our manly muses as they cover this broad topic in just 15 minutes.

WHAT UTTER GENIUS! Our heroes are surely the greatest minds of our time. Our time? What...truly what mind that has ever existed could compare to these guys. Socrates? Plato? Albert Einstein? Stephen Hawking? Bill Gates? They knew nothing compared to Chris (who could reproduce the works of Shakespeare with 1000 typewriters, in 1000 years), Bryan (Who can add and subtract using his fingers and toes {note: numbers get smaller after subtraction as he tends to cut off fingers and toes instead of just bending them back out of sight}), and Charley (who can balance a life of mastiurbation, eating, working and sleeping though sometimes he will do without the latter three because they interfere with masturbation.

Hotties are all over the place and Charley knows where the highest percentage of hot women are located. Bryan who's generally stuck on Asian women needs to know where they are. Are they in Asia? This information is so critical to life that even Chris wants to know. Join our heroes and find out where the hotties are.

The Christmas cheer continues as Charley and Chris send Bryan on an errand while they discuss Porn Star crushes. Does Charley have a crush on Ron Jeremy? Listen in and find out.

Charley has a new way to greet his friends...AND THEY LOVE IT!! Fleshlights, fleshlights everywhere. I think we may have trouble getting our heroes out of the house. Bryan, and Chris also complain about the length...hehehe,no pun intended...of the Christmas season.

Join our intrepid , or mildly retarded, guests as they bash, slam, and talk trash about the wonderful, intelligent guys at the Straitjacket Quartet...And they play a Role-Playing game, and discuss the economy...And World Peace...And Asian Hookers....

This episode originally aired in May of 2008! The guys had a lot of fun recording this one...especially Bryan, and despite the fact that they are reopening old wounds, Charley and Chris agreed to let us air this one again. Well, ok, to be honest, I think Bryan locked them in a closet and decided this one needed to air again. Lots of laughs. They really needed a camera for this one. Enjoy!

Fertilization drugs are all the rage and people everywhere...especially celebutards...and wannabe celebutards are producing litters in what seems to be record numbers...or at least, they should be. Chris, Charley and Bryan wade hip deep into the mess that is over-fertilization in America. Forget spaying or neutering your pets, THERE ARE PEOPLE OUT THERE IN NEED OF SPAYING AND/OR NEUTERING! According to the guys, anyway. Enjoy!

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